


the sunniest days (my darkest hours)

by BlueKappa



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics), Justice League - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Bruce Wayne Has Issues, Bruce Wayne Needs a Hug, Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Dead Jason Todd, Dissociation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Presumed Dead Jason Todd, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, justice league - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-12 20:27:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28766313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueKappa/pseuds/BlueKappa
Summary: Bruce needs to attend a Justice League meeting but is mourning and isn't strong enough to put up an iron front.ORBruce goes to the Watchtower after Jason's death.
Relationships: Clark Kent & Bruce Wayne, Diana (Wonder Woman) & Bruce Wayne, Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne
Comments: 35
Kudos: 239





	the sunniest days (my darkest hours)

**Author's Note:**

> Sad rich boi hours :(((
> 
> TW: Anxiety/Panic Attack symptoms, minor dissociation, character death referenced, mourning

People always say that the worst days start out on rainy days and bleak afternoons. But real low days start on the sunniest days. With the brightest suns. Loudest laughs and smiles all around leaving no one to see the true pain hidden away.

When Batman entered the watchtower, it was one of these sunny days. Members of the Justice League were chatting and joking with each other. Everyone was happy. Batman clenched his jaw and kept walking. 

_Don’t pay them any attention. They don’t know. They don’t know how much it hurts to hear every laugh and be reminded of him._

He spotted Superman in front of the meeting room, likely waiting for him. 

“Superman,” he grunted. 

Superman smiled at him. Bruce wanted to scream. 

“Batman, just in time. The meeting is about to start.”

Bruce ignored him and continued his own personal agenda. “I need you to contact Dick. I need to speak to him. It’s urgent.”

Clark's eyebrows furrowed. “Is everything okay?”

_No. No, it’s fucking not. It never will be again._

“Please,” Bruce said softly. He couldn’t talk about this right now, couldn’t even focus on the mere thought of what happened for too long. “He won’t answer my calls.”

Clark’s concerned look grew. “Okay, I’ll talk to him after the meeting.”

“No. I need you to do it now,” Bruce stressed, voice rising slightly. He pinched his nose and exhaled. God, he shouldn’t be there. He could barely hold himself together.

“... okay. I’ll see you inside in a minute,” Clark said, shooting him another unsure glance before walking out of the room.

Bruce sighed deeply and felt it in his bones. After he told Dick, after, he could mourn. He just had to be strong for a little while longer. One foot in front of the other. 

Bruce entered the room and sat at his usual chair, ignoring the talking and greetings around him. He focused on his hands. His sturdy, not shaking hands. 

_He was fine. he could get through this meeting. He would—_

“Batman?” He heard distantly. He looked up to see the worried faces of Wonder Woman and Martian Manhunter staring at him. 

“Diana,” he acknowledged gruffly.

“Are you alright?”

_No._

“Yes.”

“There are waves of sadness and mourning rolling off you, my friend,” J’onn stated.

Fuck. Well, he couldn’t hide that. Bruce turned his face away from them and took a long deep breath, He held it and released shakily. Batman could deal with the interrogation, Bruce couldn’t, and he wasn’t Batman right now.

He was fine. He could do this. It was just a meeting. It was just a meeting. And then he could go home. His empty home. Without Dick and--

He took another deep breath. Don’t go there. Don’t think about it.

“Batman,” Superman said as he entered the room. “Nightwing said he will be at the Manor tonight.”

Superman sat across from him casually as if he hadn’t just dropped a bomb on him. Tonight? Dick was coming home tonight? He wasn’t ready. How could he tell Dick that-- fuck. Dick would be in shock, hell Bruce himself was still in shock. Dick would blame him, rightfully so. It was his fault. He got Jason--

Deep breath.

“-man?”

Dick will be heartbroken.

"-atman?"

Dick would never want to talk to him again. 

“-uce?”

He couldn’t do this alone.

“Bruce!”

His head snapped up. He was met with the eyes of the original 7. They all looked unnerved and scared. Of him? For him? Who knows.

“Your heart rate’s elevated. Was it something I said?”

Stop asking. Stop.

“Did something happen?”

He pressed his head into his palms. It hurt. He couldn’t think about it. He had to be strong. For Alfred. For Dick. Tonight. God, he had to tell him tonight.

“We’re here for you, Bruce. Tell us what’s wrong.”

A choked sob ripped from his throat. He couldn’t stop it. Everything around him stilled. Every person, noise, and movement, suddenly frozen. A hand pushed through the veil and gently pulled the cowl off his head. Another rested on his shoulder.

It was quiet. No one said a thing. No one dared speak. 

Bruce’s mind was loud enough to fill the silence.

“How am I,” he choked on his words and shuddered. Say it. Say it and make it real. If you say it, it’s real, it’s not just a nightmare. “How am I supposed to tell Dick--”

He stared wide-eyed at the table in front of him yet not really seeing anything. His voice came out in a croaked whisper.

“How am I supposed to tell him his brother is gone?”

It was out. It was real. Jason was gone. He couldn’t stop the approaching flood of emotion or tears streaming down his face.

“My baby’s dead,” his voice cracked. Jason wasn’t coming back. 

“Oh my god,” someone muttered quietly.

The memories of his youngest came flooding back. His brilliant, beautiful boy. Who ranted about Jane Austen and acted all tough but would always stay with the victim and speak in a soft voice to soothe them. 

“My Jaylad’s gone.”

He was weak. He couldn’t stop the Joker. He couldn’t… he couldn’t do anything. He had survived a lot, but he wasn’t sure if he could survive this. The death of his youngest child, his baby boy. 

Strong arms wrapped around his shoulders.

“I shouldn’t have, Joker--”

He shook his head, voice laced with pain when he abruptly stopped. 

“Oh, Bruce. We’ve got you,” Diana said, thick with emotion, against his shoulder. 

He couldn’t answer. All he could think about was Jason. He _failed_ him. He promised to keep Jason safe and he _failed._

“How’m I gonna tell Dick,” he whispered brokenly again.

Diana looked up, tears in her eyes to see similar fates of the faces of her colleagues. Clark was watching Bruce through his own streaming tears. He and Diana met eyes and the tears came faster. Their nephew. They didn't even get to say goodbye, no one did.

Real sad days start on the sunniest days. With the loudest laughs and smiles. But pain always comes out, always shines brighter than anything else. And with that pain and hurt, with that sunny day ruined, then come the rainy days and bleak afternoons. To ensure that the pain lasts and touches every soul possible until they are all broken. On those rainy days, true character shines through. True feelings and pain. No one can hide that, not even superheroes.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> If you could enjoy that, I hope you did???
> 
> I literally cried writing that LOL. Sorry if there were mistakes! I'll probably edit it again tomorrow.
> 
> Give me some prompts in the comments! Comments and kudos are also appreciated :)


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